Friday, April 2, 2010

Public Service Announcement

I've been known, from time to time, to enjoy a beer or two. And I'm here today to make you aware of some of the potential concerns with drinking. No, I'm not talking about dangers of drunk driving or wearing a lampshade on your head after too many. I'd like to talk a bit about "drinking while typing", or DWT as it's commonly known.

You see, this is not an isolated occurance - it's sweeping the world. Many people are plagued with the inability to reason with themselves after putting back a couple and saddling up to the computer. Even Google has a product for it. I'm pretty convinced that the success of eBay is due to DWT. Did you know that most winning ebay bids are made between 10:30pm and 2am? (Actually I just made that up...but I wouldn't be surprised.)

I friend of mine, who shall remain anonymous (let's call him "lil' lawyer") has a automatic program to warn him of emails being sent after hours. This is effective at slowing down his drunken online-dating inquiries. It works well for him and keeps him out of trouble.
Too bad he doesnt live in Australia. Virgin Mobile Australia has a solution for Drunk Dialing: a service called Dialing Under the Influence (D.U.I.). Before heading out for a night of debauchery, a Virgin Mobile customer simply dials 333, then the number of someone who shouldn't be called midbender - a boss, a recent breakup, the cute girl who works two cubicles over. The number is then rendered unreachable on that handset until 6 a.m. the next morning, by which time the tongue-loosening effects of the evening's alcohol will presumably have worn off.

Good things can also come from DWT. For example, the inspiration to this post...

Last night, we received an entry into the upcoming Tucson Urban Assault Ride. There's a section of the sign up from where riders let us know how they heard about the UAR. This was his response..

"The leaves had just turned a copper-orange when the sun
began to crest over the snow peaked mountains to the west. My feet,
dangling precariously beneath the placid waters of the cool Sycamore
Creek, my golden retriever at my side, panting, smiling, when I saw the
shadow of that wandering vagabond. His voice was thunderous and it shook
me to the core, made me question my belief in humanity, in myself, in
those warm summer evenings in Tucson. He said, "have ye the courage to
partake in a test of intestinal fortitude, courage, civility, dexterity
and alcohol tolerance? Then mount your trusty iron steed and head to the
Urban Assault Ride!" As I wiped the sweat from my brow, with the
handkerchief that old man Hutchins gave to me in the cemetery fourteen
years ago to that day, I smiled as I thought of Betty and remembered the
last thing she said to me before she was eaten by cannibals in Tanzania:
"Win...that...ride...and drink a lot of beer." And that, is how I heard of
the Urban Assault Ride."

Very impressive writing, my friend. I'm not certain, but I would imagine this little ditty is a result of DWT. We will be sending this fellow some stickers for his efforts.

Personally, I enjoyed one of the benefits of DWT when emailing Prana's customer service department. I explained (after a few New Belgium's mind you) that the shirt I recently purchased from Prana had sleeves that were a tad too short. I let them know that when I lean down to pick up my kitty, my sleeves ride up to mid fore-arm. This explanation was enough for the good folks at Prana to send me a new shirt and a little something extra too. Good people over there at Prana. And now, I'm a lifelong fan of Prana and even writing about them to you all. In fact, I have to recommend a pair of shorts. If you grew up during the OP, Maui and Sons, Billabong, Spuds MacKenzie era, you probably remember OP's corduroy shorts. Well check it out - they're back and they're badder than ever!

And you'll be happy to know that this somewhat random blog post was written with a clear head. The only intoxicants involved were caffeine and some rather dry oatmeal.

In summary - I advise you to take this post simply as a Public Service Announcement. DWT can be dangerous, but it can be good too. But believe me - it does exist. Now go put on your favorite corduroy shorts and ride your bike to the bar to get a couple beers!

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