Friday, October 31, 2008

Just your average night for grown ups

After a long day planning cities, dates, sponsors, obstacles for next year's UAR, Jeffy Jeff gave a rang and wanted to play. We drank some hoppy IPAs and a caffeinated porter, then headed to Fritzler's Maze with Lil Miss Jack. Jackie's all over celebrating the holidays (you should see our porch - SCARY!) - so this was right up her alley.

Fritzlers is a gigantic corn maze, filled with all sorts of scary entertainment. They really do a great job - and it's super popular. 5000 people come on the weekend days and the line is 3 hours long! We went on a Thursday, so we beat the rush.

Before the main feature, we hit up some other entertainment. Notice the kids getting boosted and running away from us:

We asked to make sure this is open to big kids too...and we were allowed. But the funniest thing is that we were bouncing kids off all over the place. They couldn't get up, they'd just roll off the sides. Then the parents made all of their kids get off and it was just Jeff, Jack, and me! We had our fun, then got off the pillow jump. Then it was swarmed by a dozen kids eagerly waiting for us have our fill of jollys, so that they could resume their fun. Sorry kids - big kids gotta get down too!
They also had some pedal-powered go carts (and now you see why this post has significance on this blog;). But no bumping allowed :( - that's more of an Urban Assault Ride obstacle and they had to keep this one safe. That's dust - not snow BTW.
"The Creature" was sweet too. It was a huge inflatable spooky monster maze inside and you walk through its innards. At one point you see its inflamed red colon - actually, on 2nd thought, maybe that was supposed to be its heart - but it was rather far back. But I don't claim to be an expert on inflatable monster anatomy. I will tell you I was impressed with this inflatable masterpiece. Considering, we rent inflatables all over the country - this one was top notch.

Then it was on to the SCARY MAIZE MAZE. I didn't take any photos, as I didn't want to spoil any surprises. But let me tell you - it's really awesome and it will spook you, make you a bit claustrophobic (even if you don't think you're claustrophobic), very dizzy, and your ears will likely ring from all the high school cheerleaders screaming all around you. You know...tons of fun!

So we headed home to show Jeff how to play XBOX 360. He was rocking Force Unleashed, and he got a kick of seeing me snipe pedestrians and run over the PoPo on Grand Theft Auto 4.

And then to cap off the night, Jackie made some of her famous "Feisty Jack" cookies.
So you know, just another typical day in the world of the UAR: Pillow hopping, Go-Carts, a haunted maze, video games, cookies, and of course some great beer. I rode my bike too!

In other news:
This local USPS official is rocking a new delivery vehicle. I'll set him up with some UAR schwag when I see him next. I bet he'd tear it up if we ever had a race here in Longmont!

There's a new race coming to town: the Breck Epic. It's a 6 day, 250+ mile single track adventure. 2-person teams (I'm all over that), beautiful scenery, and a 'clover leaf' course. The only problem is that it starts the day after one of my favorite races: the Firecracker 50. I'm definitely in for the Firecracker, the question is, can I recover in such a short time to race for 6 more days. And it'll be smack dab in the middle of the UAR season. Well...I better start waking up real early and putting in the miles.

This weekend, we've got a sweet North Colorado ride planned: Devil's Backbone, Blue Sky, Lory, Lunch in FtC, then back again. And on Sunday, looks like I'll be riding in circles in Boulder. Then drinking some beer of course!

Thursday, October 30, 2008


Jackie is back from her NYC trip. Not - not a UAR recon trip (yet;) - it was her way to embrace the energy of the city she loves so much, do some modern dance, and take in the sights and sounds.Here's Jack with Andrea, a little Swiss Miss who is living in London now. We're trying to get her and her man, Rolph, to move back to Boulder. We miss you Andrea!

I sent her on a mission to photo interesting happenings in the world of bikes and some interesting sights were definitely captured. We don't have too many street performers here in Longmont you see. She was very entertained. Check the head bang at about :30 seconds.

This fellow was rocking out with his violin and throwing down some amazing physical movements. The thing is (as Jackie and Andrea astutely observed), the audio track was being played separately - so he's not actually playing his instrument. That adds a whole different level of entertainment to his act.
Here's a very well coordinated rider. He likes the pink.
Crack - everybody's favorite snack in NYC.
Jesse - this one's for you. Speaking of Star Wars, the new XBOX 360 game, The Force Unleashed is SWEET! They've put a lot of 'the force' into this game. check it out.
The dude above liked pink, this fellow likes red apparently. And he likes downhill MTB fenders - cuz you know how you want to keep the NYC mud out of you eyes and off the back of your neck.
A little fixed gear freestylin' throwdown. I'd have liked to see this one.
Here's BatMan with his new more eco-friendly 'Bat Mobile" - complete with Flava Flav clock/back rest. WA-BAM
Not the safest city to ride in for sure. Hopefully this crumpled bike was not supporting a rider when this sign was rolled over by a fast moving car.

You know...just some things you don't see everyday unless you happen to live in the Big Apple.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Getting all political - in a bike sorta way

Last week we met with the city of Denver to talk about next year's UAR. Seems they want to create a No Car Day and the Urban Assault Ride fits the bill as a good way to make this happen - (while getting hopefully 1000 folks buzzed at the after party :). Nothing like the empowerment of the bicycle when combined with a tasty malty least in my eyes.

At this meeting we were invited to a fundraiser for Mark Udall, a Colorado Congressman, who is running for senate. Mark is right up my alley. He's climbed of CO's 14'ers, he rides bikes, and he's got a long history of appreciating the beautiful outdoors that we all enjoy so much. So, Lawyer Kurtie, Lawyer Eric, and myself had to check out this little shindig that was all about rallying Boulder cyclists for Udall. We hung with some two wheeled celebs: Andy Hampsten, Mike Barrow, Jared Polis (he says he rides, so we'll give him the benefit of the doubt), even Davis Phinney.
Plenty of $$$ was raised, Old Chub was imbibed, and we even got to hear a big politician talk about creating bike access to national park trails and how fricken important it is to get out and vote (for Obama of course). was a good time. It made me feel all grown up. Hanging with my attorney friends talking to a congressman.

But prior to that it was business as usual. I had a long talk with Stevil Kinevil about how we're going to take over the world by means of bicycle. We also talked about his NYC art exhibit, UAR jerseys, and new UAR cities (what do you think of Boise?)

Then I rode my bike. I don't care what you spoiled Boulderites say - Betasso is awesome. I'd ride the shit out of it if I lived a bit closer.

Betasso: A nice aerobic ride on trails with minimal road riding, great views, sweeping pumpy turns, and quite possibly the perfect afternoon ride.
Damn Kurtie! What - have you been pumping some iron? You're looking HUGE! What are you a sold buck twenty these days? Just kidding - you know you climb like a rock squirrel.

And if you've read this far, I suppose I'll share my new favorite joke with you. It's not particularly P.C. - but check it out HERE.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Bikes and beer...but no big wheels today

I gathered some troops for a tour of the Boulder County trails today. It was supposed to be a big group, but ended up being a nice quartet. Jesse and Tate (of Denver UAR and BC Bike Race fame) were supposed to come...but this happened to Jesse...
Hmmn. Looks like you're coming down a bit too steep there Jes.
Yep - sure enough. Stitches resulted. And that's why I have yet to own a dirt jumping bike. I'll stick to the pump tracks for now. Others got sick, had too much homework (whatever), or raced cross instead.
So, it was A-Nut, Lawyer Eric, and Lawyer Kurtie, and myself for 5 hours on the trails. A nice even number. Here's picture rock trail - which was great today. The temps peaked at about 45 today and I suppose that kept the riff raff off the trail - except for us of course.
Then on to Hall - which was buffed out and perfect. Man. I love Hall Ranch. We debated getting a beer at Oskar Blues on the way home - we even saw the man himself on the trail. But it was so cold that we decided to keep the train rolling and we headed back to Longmont.
For some recovery drink, I took the Masi out since it has plenty of room for beer. Actually, I think I could fit a full case in this bad boy. I'll have to try that next time.
While in the booze-mart, I saw yet another of Anheiser Busch's marketing master pieces. This one is called, "Cool Your Pipes". Classy for sure. AB knows who buys their beer I suppose: people with multiple over-heated pipes. Since I rode my bike for 5 hours in 40 degree weather, my pipe was still rather chilled.

Saturday, October 25, 2008


I saw this clip on HTATBL - and I just had to show you all.

There's something really disturbing about the worm orgy at the end. It turns my stomach. No man in a mustache should ever do 'the worm'. I thought everybody knew that.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Tumble weeds, sore throats, and big rides

The winter is slowly blowing in and there are some tale-tell signs: frost on the porch when we let the dogs out, leaves falling like snow flakes, and some big ass tumble weeds rolling about. I bagged this bad boy on a little in-town cross ride the other day. It must be one of the biggest of its herd.
We went to see Kings of Leon last night. They're one of my favorite bands as of late. They put on a great show at the Filmore. Caleb, the vocalist, sounded like he'd put in a few too many performances lately. The songs sounded great, but when he'd talk inbetween songs you could tell he was rather horse. He said he sounded like a "hound dog", but that hound dogs are his favorite kind of dog, so it wasn't so bad. If you're a fan of the UAR, you've probably heard one of their songs in this video. Here they are performing it....

Coming up on Sunday is a big Boulder County ride. We should have 10 or so riders coming in to check out the trails in my neck of the woods. If you're down for a 5+ hour ride on Sunday with some dudes that can throw down on the MTB - let me know. You're welcome to join.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Water from...air

Check out this article from the Austin paper
: Willie's at it again - this time instead of biodiesel, he's in the water game. He's working with Paul of RunTex fame (and a friend of the UAR's) to sell these units. I want one!

Liquor store propaganda

So I walk in to a liquor store the other day and see this striking seasonal Bud Light lifesize marketing piece. 1st, I have to say that I kinda feel dirty walking into a liquor store in the 1st place. Each state has unique laws on buying alcohol: California sells whiskey along side eggs and fruit loops, Texas offers Ales and Merlots at any big market, Utah sells full alcohol beer in state liquor stores only - at room temperature. But in Colorado, if you want to get good beer (or at least beer without a reduced alcohol content), you have to make your way into a liquor store. They are everywhere - next to any supermarket and on pretty much any main intersection. It's not exactly difficult to find a place to buy your whiskey, but for some reason I feel a little uncomfortable when I go into one. No worries - I'll get over it. In fact, I just did.

This brings me to my latest observation while in a booze-mart lately. I was greeted by the cardboard display above. On display: a girl with a boozed smile (who always seemed to have her eyes on me no matter where I was in the store, two extraordinarily happy folks dancing in the background as they sip their very light brews. And since Halloween is right around the corner, they were festively attired. No - not costumes, rather SPOOKY clothes like black jackets with too many zippers, dense layers of rusty metal jewelery, and of course - black nail polish. Then I noticed something on the Halloween starlet - a skull and crossbones ring on her wedding ring finger. I took a startled breath when I realized she must be none other than Satan's wife or at least a pirate's hag. I was in the presence of true evil - and she wanted me to drink a bud light with her.
I had to take a step back to put it all into perspective. Then I saw the tagline "bring this night to life". I had my 'a-ha' moment. It all made sense: by my drinking a bud light on Halloween, I would revive previously dead partiers who would boogy-down with me while bats circled our heads, perhaps waiting for us to set down our bottles of bud light so they could plunge their little bat tongues into the drink for some spooky inebriation. It was a lot to take in for sure.

I walked back to the beer coolers and picked up a caffinated 6-pack (Pipeline Porter from Kona). Buying bud light has way too many repurcusions for my comfort level. I'm not sure that I want to wake the dead (let alone Satan's old lady) when throw back a beer while wrenching on my bike. They almost had me though! Phew - close call!

I also found this little snake while on a cross ride yesterday. I moved him to greener pastures.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Fall's the word

We've been working some and riding lots these days. It's Fall and the riding's good. Check out some of the haps:
Earlier this week, the RAAM-Mobile showed up at our door. We headed up to Jamestown for a little Monday morning cruise.
Boups, Rick, and Kurtie provided good company while my mustashe kept my lip warm on the descent back into town.
People wonder why Boulder is home to some of the best road racers in the world. Well, just check out the roads around here. They're smooth, with a big shoulder, no potholes, and the drivers are pretty used to seeing bikes all the time.
Speaking of seeing bikes all the time, we hit the Picture Rock trail on Sunday. The recent article in Velonews about it must have sparked some interest b/c the trail was hopping. We experienced some newbies that have a thing or two to learn about trail ettiquite. But I suppose it's par for the course with a new trail, on a perfect Sunday afternoon, with turns like these.
Jackie's been making friends.
She named this one Rupert. He's a big fan of her nuts.
Up in Ward, there was some snow already. I took a short breather and watched the locals get their provisions at the general store. By the way, there were 3 signs for different general stores up there - with only one in business. I guess it's a tough gig selling cigarettes, coca-cola, twine, and salt licks these days.
They did have some community hula hoops to suit everybody's size needs.
Next to me on the bench: helmet, cap, bottle, dried apples, and snow.
I'd have ridden this bad boy home if it wasn't missing a wheel.

Coming up this weekend is a big Boulder County MTB ride. We're hitting them all on Sunday: Heil, Wid Turkey, Picture Rock, Hall (antelope and rock garden) and maybe even Rabbit Mountain. If you're interested in coming along - let me know. Everybody's welcome!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Plans are in the works....

Colorado. Big Wheels. 4 City MTN Tour. THE First Annual Intergalactic Big Wheel Championship Series.

A couple of links to help you out:


Some inspiration:

tricycle drift

You know you're down, so stay tuned.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Some things that tickly my fancy today

  • watching 100's of people ride around in circle, in places they would otherwise never ride, jumping off their bikes to run over barriers, and drinking beer afterwards. In a word: cyclocross. The Blue Sky race was a blast yesterday. I started far at the back since I didn't pre-register, never got passed and passed plenty of folks, and saw some fancy riding from Georgia Gould. Georgia was one the US's mountain bike olympians. She raced men's 3's, then went on to dominate the women's race. I talked to her afterwards about her bike, her race, and living in Ft Collins. Cool girl.
  • Knowing that I've two awesome shows to look forward to: Kings of Leon on Thursday and the Beastie Boys the following week.
  • Ali G
  • Jackie's making breakfast - and Kurtie's coming by for a ride
  • My cross bike
  • Tax breaks for bike riders
  • Sprinkles

Saturday, October 18, 2008


Finally - after all of these years as a die hard fan - I'm going to see the Beastie Boys! They're doing a short tour with Tenacious D as part of the ROCK THE VOTE tour....and we're not going to miss it.

They're playing the Fillmore in Denver on election eve. The next day, Jackie and are pedaling around town - making sure our neighbors get out and vote (hopefully for Obama;)
We're thinking we'll both ride a tandem so that we can ride folks to the polls - for real!

In a bit, I'll be wrenching on the cross bike to get it ready for today's race. I'm getting pretty psyched! We'll see how I feel when my lungs are filled with dust, my shoes filled with sand, and my handlebars are covered in drool. At least there are 2 beer sponsors!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The off-season can be dangerous

Since getting back from 'holiday', I've been spending a bit of time in front of this computer. I've learned about all sorts of things to spend money on: The new Mac Book, ChainLove, and I've been dreaming about real estate in Taos (one can dream - right?).

There's a big cross race in my neck of the woods this Saturday: The Blue Sky Velo Cross at Xilinx. The cours is right down the road, so I might just have to put the Yeti cross bike through the paces. Problem is, I've been riding at a vacation/fall classic ride/end of UAR season an hour with the country's best mud and cowbell racers will be very painful. But they say pain is temporary and glory is forever. I don't foresee too much glory, but hopefully there will be some glorious beer at the end of the race.

OK - Time to ride up to Ward before the snow makes it impossible. It's 35 degrees right now. Brrrrr.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Here's the haps:

Jackie and I took a trip to New Mexico. It's a special place for me and for us. For some, but not exclusively these reasons: We eloped in Santa Fe. I love riding the Chamisa and Windsor trail. The Black Canyon campground is the most luxurious car camping ever. The history is amazing - considering the united states are so young, yet the NM culture is so old and true. And - the food and people and ways of the world are just damn fantastic. Here's what the camera saw....
One of the reasons we go to Santa Fe each year is for this trail: Chamisa/Windsor. It's one of my favorities due to the varied terrain, elevation gain/loss(I ride as an out and back), and of course turns like these. If you're a rider, click this picture. Downhill, banked, smooth turns for about 1000'. For me, this is why I'm on this planet.
Jackie accompanied me along with our doggies, Rasta and Maple. We hiked, camped, and loved the colors of fall.
On the way there, I got caught having a bit too much fun. 51 in a 35 means a ticket in Cimarron. Damn.
At the campsite, we did plenty of good cooking. Eggs, turkey sausage, and green chilis in the AM. MMMMMMM!!!!!
The firewood we used for our nightly campfires, was beetle kill. I was happy to see a use for this wood. If/when we build our next house, it will be with bettle kill wood. Gots to make use of what needs to be used.
The trails in Santa Fe are plentiful and uncrowded. It's my favorite time to ride - with longsleeves and shorts. This is Borrego/Bear Wallow/Chimisa.
The Dale Ball trails were on tap for the next ride. These are the PERFECT SINGLE SPEED TRAILS. No major climbs, plenty of fun turns and loops, smoothness, and great views. What's best is that they are about a 15 minute ride from downtown Santa Fe. Each turn has markers like this, so you can't get lost.
Here's a memorial. I have to say that when I go, this is how I want to be remembered: on a trail with fancy trinkets of affection. As a matter of fact, I think I will add that exact line to my will,
"Remember me on a trail, with fancy trinkets of affection." There. It has been said.
Then it was on to Taos, where trails and town markers greet you upon entering. This is the Devisadero trail. It's the 'intown ride' that the bike shop recommended. I rode it on a Sunday and saw no other riders, just a handful of hikers. I was hiking my bike all over the place...and I have to say, I'm a pretty decent rider with some technical knowledge. This can't be a favorite local trail...but it is cool to ride considering the history. I think they gave me the old "here - ride this gringo" trail recommendation. But that's cool - I paid my dues.
Taos is an incredibly amazing place. This is the Taos Pueblo. It's a sovereign nation within the United States (think about that for a second) and the longest continually inhabited place in the U.S.
The Indians that live here live by a code that has existed "longer than history itself". They live here without running water or electricity. They bathe and drink the water from the river that flows through the village. It's amazing that we are allowed to go into this place. Much respect.
Here's the graveyard where their alter once stood. Many worship mother nature - to this day. Yet the Spanish felt this was uncivilized, so they killed them until they became Catholic. Since so many deaths occurred trying to protect their beliefs, they turned this space into a cemetery.
I enjoyed the visit and the trails that countless souls must have experienced.
Rasta found a log that she carried around for a few miles. Maple couldn't hold it up - pretty funny.
The colors were popping and it was THE place to be - according to me and Jackie and the pups, at least.
At the Taos Inn, I enjoyed some new beers. This one came with its own souvenir goat. Very nice!
We traveled in style - biodiesel, blacksheep, and good tunes.
We got Maple a new pack. She carried the water for her and Rasta....and it helped her go to sleep a little bit faster.
I'm sad to say, that by being in New Mexico, we missed Austin Bikes Grand Reopening. Sol and Eric...we were there in spirit.

And now...we're back to work. We've got plenty up our sleeves for next year. Nothing like a little R and R to recharge the batteries, right?