Monday, May 18, 2009

The AMAZING power of the UAR

In addition to Beer, Bikes, and Big Wheels, there are other things that interest us in the world of the UAR. Namely mustaches, music, and marzipan.

We're such big fans of the above that we often create contest to showcase our love. We did our own Mustache Contest and decided to open it up to the competition. Each event this year had some impressive mustaches for sure, but Seattle's mustache contest was a fierce battle.
Pictured above is Seattle's winner, Mustachekateer, Bryan Johnson. He proved that with lots of hard work (two months), you really can make a difference in the world (and win a mustache contest).

It was no easy journey and in case his mustache inspires you as much as it does me, here are some mustache journal entries:

"Day 1. Two months until the UAR Mustache Competition and my goal is to win it all. I put my razor in the drawer – it starts now.
Day 3. I had to get my razor back out of the drawer to shave the parts that aren’t mustache.
Day 5. I haven’t had the start out of the gates that I was hoping for, but this morning I noticed a definite darkness under my nose – not like coffee grounds, more like gunpowder. Maybe gunpowder after it’s been burned.
Day 10. I told my UAR teammate what I’m doing and he called me a “hairless pirate.” It hurt, but I’d rather be that than the hairless non-pirate that he is. He’ll never be a real pirate, but all I have to do is grow a mustache.
Day 16. A new milestone today: I got a taste of the soup I had for lunch a full three hours later just by licking my lips. It’s really happening!
Day 22. Nothing very interesting happened with the growing of my mustache today.
Day 35. Today I got a haircut – just a couple of centimeters – but due to a related optical illusion, my mustache actually grew two centimeters. I’m considering shaving my head for the UAR.
Day 47. It's too bad that women can't really compete in this challenge. Maybe next year the UAR staff will consider having a competition for kneestaches. That would be cool.
Day 53. Only a week to go and I think my mustache has just gone to the next level. People on the sidewalk give me twice as much space as they used to, and the elementary school where I teach just fingerprinted me for the third time.
Day 60. Today was the big day. After the bike race thingy everyone gathered for the main event. There were several worthy competitors, but the roar of the crowd when Josh pointed to me meant only one thing: victory. I won some sweet Specialized gear and a woman in the crowd gave me one of her beer tokens, but the true prize was the glory. Thank you New Belgium. Thank You Urban Assault. Thank you mustache. "

It's an impressive and tear-jerking tale Bryan. Thank you for your bravery, fortitude, and masculinity. Well done, Sir.

Never to be outdone, we've had quite a few ladies who have wanted to be included in all things UAR, but feel that they are at a genetic disadvantage. We're all about equal rights here at the UAR, so instead of the ladies drawing or pasting the best mustache, we've had another suggestion: a "Muffstache contest". Now, I'm not too sure what the rules or categories for judging may be, but if you have some feedback, feel free to share.

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