Thursday, October 23, 2008

Liquor store propaganda

So I walk in to a liquor store the other day and see this striking seasonal Bud Light lifesize marketing piece. 1st, I have to say that I kinda feel dirty walking into a liquor store in the 1st place. Each state has unique laws on buying alcohol: California sells whiskey along side eggs and fruit loops, Texas offers Ales and Merlots at any big market, Utah sells full alcohol beer in state liquor stores only - at room temperature. But in Colorado, if you want to get good beer (or at least beer without a reduced alcohol content), you have to make your way into a liquor store. They are everywhere - next to any supermarket and on pretty much any main intersection. It's not exactly difficult to find a place to buy your whiskey, but for some reason I feel a little uncomfortable when I go into one. No worries - I'll get over it. In fact, I just did.

This brings me to my latest observation while in a booze-mart lately. I was greeted by the cardboard display above. On display: a girl with a boozed smile (who always seemed to have her eyes on me no matter where I was in the store, two extraordinarily happy folks dancing in the background as they sip their very light brews. And since Halloween is right around the corner, they were festively attired. No - not costumes, rather SPOOKY clothes like black jackets with too many zippers, dense layers of rusty metal jewelery, and of course - black nail polish. Then I noticed something on the Halloween starlet - a skull and crossbones ring on her wedding ring finger. I took a startled breath when I realized she must be none other than Satan's wife or at least a pirate's hag. I was in the presence of true evil - and she wanted me to drink a bud light with her.
I had to take a step back to put it all into perspective. Then I saw the tagline "bring this night to life". I had my 'a-ha' moment. It all made sense: by my drinking a bud light on Halloween, I would revive previously dead partiers who would boogy-down with me while bats circled our heads, perhaps waiting for us to set down our bottles of bud light so they could plunge their little bat tongues into the drink for some spooky inebriation. It was a lot to take in for sure.

I walked back to the beer coolers and picked up a caffinated 6-pack (Pipeline Porter from Kona). Buying bud light has way too many repurcusions for my comfort level. I'm not sure that I want to wake the dead (let alone Satan's old lady) when throw back a beer while wrenching on my bike. They almost had me though! Phew - close call!

I also found this little snake while on a cross ride yesterday. I moved him to greener pastures.


  1. Do you have more information about the snake wine ?!

  2. Um...that's not exactly what we were going for here...and I'm not a supporter of killing snakes and scorpions for drinking pleasure...but thanks for reading (?)